Monday, January 4, 2010

Fan letter to Richard Armitage

Dear Mr. Armitage,

This weekend I watched "North & South" for the first time. Netflix suggested this mini-series to me, and I went ahead and took its suggestion, watching all four hours in one sitting.

You, sir, are a panty-dropper, excuse my francais. 

It's not that I am in love with you -- I don't know you at all -- but holy Dickens am I in love with the character that you created on screen. Colin Firth's Mr. Darcy has got nothing on your John Thornton. Colin Firth's Mr. Darcy jumping into the lake has got nothing on your John Thornton. Your John Thornton is stern yet sensual, contemplative and charismatic, a little proud at first, but more open-minded later. DREAMY. I'll admit that this description sounds like it could also apply to Mr. Darcy. But trust me, I prefer you and am shamelessly letting my affections be known.

A little about me. I am a British person, stuck in a Russian person's body who now lives in America. I love tea, Mr. Bean, and the Tate Modern museum.  I am twelve years your junior, and am systematically working my way through "Robin Hood", where you play Guy of Gisborne, a baddie. As a side note, I am having difficulty understanding what demographic this show is geared towards. Teenage boys? Medieval history buffs? Women in their twenties, I hope? After some light internet stalking I have learned that you at one point had a live-in girlfriend who may or may not have been a theatre actress who may or may not still be living with you. One of your recent projects has been a show called "Spooks" in England, which for some reason has been renamed "MI-5" in the U.S. and is a "24"/Jack Bauer type of situation where you arrive on the show as an agent who has spent the last 8 years in a Russian prison and your allegiance may or may not have turned. Very Jack Bauer meets Tony Almeida. I plan to watch it after I finish "Robin Hood".    

In conclusion, thank you for being such an accomplished actor, though truth me told I cannot tell for sure as I am blinded by your breathtaking beauty. Good day, Mr. Armitage.