Monday, April 21, 2008

Home early enough to watch a Seinfeld episode!

GEORGE: I’d like to report a problem with one of your mechanics.

WILLIE: When did you bring the car in?

GEORGE: (To the man behind him in line) Yeah right.. I’m gonna get my car repaired at a dealership. Huh! Why don’t I just flush my money down the toilet?

WILLIE: Sir, what, exactly, is the problem?

GEORGE: One of your guys - Kip, or Ned, short name - stole my Twix candy bar!

WILLIE: Are you saying he grabbed the candy bar away from you?

GEORGE: He might as well have! I caught him, and his face was covered in chocolate and cookie crumbs.

WILLIE: I thought you said it was a Twix.

GEORGE: Oh, it was. But he claimed it was a 5th Avenue bar.

WILLIE: Maybe it was.

GEORGE: Oh, no, no. Twix is the only candy with the cookie crunch.

WILLIE: What about the $100,000 bar?

GEORGE: No. Rice and caramel.

WILLIE: Nougat?


WILLIE: Positive?

GEORGE: Please.

(A woman appears from behind the window)

WOMAN: You know they changed the name from $100,000 bar to 100 Grand?

GEORGE: All I want is my seventy-five cents back, an apology, and for him to be fired!

(An old man sitting in a nearby chair speaks up. He’s Willie’s father)

WILLIE SR: I remember when you used to be able to get a Hershey for a nickel.

(The man behind George speaks up)

MAN: What’s the one with the swirling chocolate in the commercial?

GEORGE: They all have swirling chocolate in the commercial!

WILLIE SR: Not Skittles.

WILLIE: Dad, I told you you could sit here only if you don’t talk.

WOMAN: (Sitting behind George) You make your father sit here all day?

WILLIE: He likes it!

GEORGE: Alright! Do you mind? I have the window! (To Willie) Now, what are you gonna do about my Twix?

MAN: (In line behind George) Twix has too much coconut.

GEORGE: No! There’s no coconut!

WOMAN: (Behind service window) I’m allergic to coconut.

WILLIE: I’m not.

WILLIE SR: ..A nickel!


WILLIE: Mr. Costanza, I really don’t have time for this.

GEORGE: Now, if this mechanic guy, was, in fact, eating a 5th Avenue bar, as he claimed, wouldn’t you agree he would have no problem picking one out from a candy line-up?

WILLIE: "Candy line-up"?

GEORGE: I’ve spent the last hour preparing ten candy bars with no wrappers of identification of any kind for him to select from.

WILLIE: It took you an hour?

GEORGE: Only I hold the answer key to their true candy identities. And so, without further ado, I give you.. the candy line-up. (Opens a door to a back room.

Various dealership employees are munching on candy bars)

SALESWOMAN: Hey, Willie, check it out! Free candy!

GEORGE: That’s my candy line-up! Where are all my cards?! They’re - they’re all on the floor!

(George starts picking up the numbered cards from off the floor. He sees the mechanic eating one of the candy bars)

GEORGE: And you! How many Twix does that make for you, today?! Like, 8 Twix?!


MAN: Hey, this Clark bar is good.

GEORGE: It’s a Twix! They’re all Twix! It was a setup! A setup, I tell ya! And you’ve robbed it! You’ve all screwed me again! Now, gimme one! Gimme a Twix!

MECHANIC: They’re all gone.

GEORGE: (Yelling out, frustrated. The camera spins from a top angle) Ttttttwwwwiiiiiixxxxx!

1 comment:

  1. For the record I was also watching this episode...

    "I think you can let go of my hand now"