GEORGE: I’d like to report a problem with one of your mechanics.
WILLIE: When did you bring the car in?
GEORGE: (To the man behind him in line) Yeah right.. I’m gonna get my car repaired at a dealership. Huh! Why don’t I just flush my money down the toilet?
WILLIE: Sir, what, exactly, is the problem?
GEORGE: One of your guys - Kip, or Ned, short name - stole my Twix candy bar!
WILLIE: Are you saying he grabbed the candy bar away from you?
GEORGE: He might as well have! I caught him, and his face was covered in chocolate and cookie crumbs.
WILLIE: I thought you said it was a Twix.
GEORGE: Oh, it was. But he claimed it was a 5th Avenue bar.
WILLIE: Maybe it was.
GEORGE: Oh, no, no. Twix is the only candy with the cookie crunch.
WILLIE: What about the $100,000 bar?
GEORGE: No. Rice and caramel.
(A woman appears from behind the window)
WOMAN: You know they changed the name from $100,000 bar to 100 Grand?
GEORGE: All I want is my seventy-five cents back, an apology, and for him to be fired!
(An old man sitting in a nearby chair speaks up. He’s Willie’s father)
WILLIE SR: I remember when you used to be able to get a Hershey for a nickel.
(The man behind George speaks up)
MAN: What’s the one with the swirling chocolate in the commercial?
GEORGE: They all have swirling chocolate in the commercial!
WILLIE SR: Not Skittles.
WILLIE: Dad, I told you you could sit here only if you don’t talk.
WOMAN: (Sitting behind George) You make your father sit here all day?
WILLIE: He likes it!
GEORGE: Alright! Do you mind? I have the window! (To Willie) Now, what are you gonna do about my Twix?
MAN: (In line behind George) Twix has too much coconut.
GEORGE: No! There’s no coconut!
WOMAN: (Behind service window) I’m allergic to coconut.
WILLIE: I’m not.
WILLIE SR: ..A nickel!
WILLIE: Mr. Costanza, I really don’t have time for this.
GEORGE: Now, if this mechanic guy, was, in fact, eating a 5th Avenue bar, as he claimed, wouldn’t you agree he would have no problem picking one out from a candy line-up?
WILLIE: "Candy line-up"?
GEORGE: I’ve spent the last hour preparing ten candy bars with no wrappers of identification of any kind for him to select from.
WILLIE: It took you an hour?
GEORGE: Only I hold the answer key to their true candy identities. And so, without further ado, I give you.. the candy line-up. (Opens a door to a back room.
Various dealership employees are munching on candy bars)
SALESWOMAN: Hey, Willie, check it out! Free candy!
GEORGE: That’s my candy line-up! Where are all my cards?! They’re - they’re all on the floor!
(George starts picking up the numbered cards from off the floor. He sees the mechanic eating one of the candy bars)
GEORGE: And you! How many Twix does that make for you, today?! Like, 8 Twix?!
MAN: Hey, this Clark bar is good.
GEORGE: It’s a Twix! They’re all Twix! It was a setup! A setup, I tell ya! And you’ve robbed it! You’ve all screwed me again! Now, gimme one! Gimme a Twix!
MECHANIC: They’re all gone.
GEORGE: (Yelling out, frustrated. The camera spins from a top angle) Ttttttwwwwiiiiiixxxxx!